like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I am available for nakedness
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
