it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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