im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
