whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize