I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
