Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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