I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
