I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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