I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
