The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
