is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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