the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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