He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
