my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
