I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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