theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
