Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
