So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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