thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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