Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
