She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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