is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize