Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
