if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
