3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
