Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My feet surprised me
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
