Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
