do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
