Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
