You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
