Please, let me fuck your mom
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
