Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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