I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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