He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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