I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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