I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
