there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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