Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
