Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
