jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
