Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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