fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
