Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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