Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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