I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
