ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
