i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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