If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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