I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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