I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
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