why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
