you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
No subtext here. People are naked.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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