did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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