I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
