Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
