you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
