He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
