never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
