I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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